On the part of the host, a dinner-invitation implies a
desire for a certain social intimacy which is not involved in
any other form of entertainment. One may give pleasant
assurances of social happiness in the formal interchange of
calls, or the slightly more personal intercourse of prolonged
receptions or of evening affairs : these are agreeable ways
of paying one's social debts. But to ask a friend to dinner
means friendliness indeed ; for this reason, a dinner-invita-
tion should be accepted only from those whose friendship is
welcomed. It should always be returned^ during the social
season ; that is, before people separate for the summer : if
the recipient has not an establishment which admits of giving
a dinner in return, a ride or drive in the country, or a good
restaurant-dinner or a theatre-party in the city, is considered
a social equivalent. There should be no delay in answer-
ing a dinner invitation definitely : this gives the hostess an
opportunity to fill the guest's place if the hospitality is
declined. If the invitation is accepted, punctuality' to the
hour fixed for the dinner is imperative on the part of the
guest. The tact of a lady is to be appreciated, who, after
THE ETIQUETTE OF DINNERS. 1 35
an unforeseen hinderance, reached the house of her enter-
tainers just as the last of the guests were entering the dining-
room ; she dropped her wraps in the entrance-hall where
her escort left his hat, and entered the dining-room with
him at once, to the surprise and gratification of her hosts.
The immediate acknowledgment of an acceptance to a
dinner is, in the city a call within three days after the dinner,
unless there is marked intimacy, in which case a longer time
may be allowed to elapse ; but no circumstance of ordinary
consequence should set aside this social form, even among
intimate friends, for these little courtesies are the graces
of friendship. In the country, where it is not easy to get
about, more latitude in point of time is permissible ; unless
an immediate return of hospitality is contemplated, any
reasonable time may elapse before the call of acknowledg-
ment is made.
The most enjoyable dinners are those where every one
is at ease. Given the fact that the selection of the guests is
perfect, their number should not be greater for a private
dinner than the hostess can render all requisite courtesies to.
Then, too, every care should be taken, previous to the din-
ner, to insure absolute ease on the part of the hosts. The
comfort of guests depends upon equal and perfect service,
as much as upon excellent cookery. As has been said
already, one well-trained servant can attend to ten or twelve
guests with the American dinner or the service a la Russe ;
but if the service is English, or if the number of guests is
larger, there should be one or more other servants ; and for
elaborate dinners a butler should attend to the wine, direct
the general table-routine, and, when not actually engaged,
stand beside the host or hostess and watch to make sure
that no person is unserved, because it is exceedingly awk-
ward for a guest to ask for attention. The hostess so largely
depends upon the servants for ease during the progress of
136 PRACTICAL AMERICAN COOKERY.
Page 78
Presented as published in 1885. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
On the part of the host, a dinner-invitation implies a desire for a certain social intimacy which is not involved in any other form of entertainment. One may give pleasant assurances of social happiness in the formal interchange of calls, or the slightly more personal intercourse of prolonged receptions or of evening affairs : these are agreeable ways of paying one's social debts. But to ask a friend to dinner means friendliness indeed ; for this reason, a dinner-invitation should be accepted only from those whose friendship is welcomed. It should always be returned during the social season ; that is, before people separate for the summer : if the recipient has not an establishment which admits of giving a dinner in return, a ride or drive in the country, or a good restaurant-dinner or a theatre-party in the city, is considered a social equivalent. There should be no delay in answering a dinner invitation definitely : this gives the hostess an opportunity to fill the guest's place if the hospitality is declined. If the invitation is accepted, punctuality to the hour fixed for the dinner is imperative on the part of the guest. The tact of a lady is to be appreciated, who, after
an unforeseen hinderance, reached the house of her entertainers just as the last of the guests were entering the diningroom ; she dropped her wraps in the entrance-hall where her escort left his hat, and entered the dining-room with him at once, to the surprise and gratification of her hosts. The immediate acknowledgment of an acceptance to a dinner is, in the city a call within three days after the dinner, unless there is marked intimacy, in which case a longer time may be allowed to elapse ; but no circumstance of ordinary consequence should set aside this social form, even among intimate friends, for these little courtesies are the graces of friendship. In the country, where it is not easy to get about, more latitude in point of time is permissible ; unless an immediate return of hospitality is contemplated, any reasonable time may elapse before the call of acknowledgment is made.
The most enjoyable dinners are those where every one is at ease. Given the fact that the selection of the guests is perfect, their number should not be greater for a private dinner than the hostess can render all requisite courtesies to. Then, too, every care should be taken, previous to the dinner, to insure absolute ease on the part of the hosts. The comfort of guests depends upon equal and perfect service, as much as upon excellent cookery. As has been said already, one well-trained servant can attend to ten or twelve guests with the American dinner or the service a la Russe ; but if the service is English, or if the number of guests is larger, there should be one or more other servants ; and for elaborate dinners a butler should attend to the wine, direct the general table-routine, and, when not actually engaged, stand beside the host or hostess and watch to make sure that no person is unserved, because it is exceedingly awkward for a guest to ask for attention. The hostess so largely depends upon the servants for ease during the progress of