never righted ; it is never obliterated. For one instance in which to
spare the rod is to spoil the child, there are a thousand cases in which
to use the rod unjustly is to engrave an eternal stigma on the heart
and to write a "minute" in the note-book of the memory which may
be legible beyond the grave.
Scarcely less hurtful to the child's nature and to the home life is
petting and spoiling. Better, perhaps, is it for the boy or girl to suffer
from neglect than pampering. Better to be punished and blamed un-
justly than to be praised and rewarded for virtues one does not pos-
sess and good deeds one has not done. Both treatments are alike
unjust, and what is needed in the home is justice.
Many children who are naturally generous and would willingly
"share and share alike " the little windfalls of good things that come
to them, are made selfish and greedy by the eagerness which is created
in them by a parent's unfairness. They see every dainty, every treat,
the first choice in every selection of presents and the tidbits of every
delicacy, given to the mother's or the father's darling, made so, per-
haps, because this child has a prettier complexion, a fairer skin, more
curly hair and bolder manners than the others. The favorite has
more pocket-money given him or her to spend; has greater care and
cost bestowed upon dress ; is made more of before company who ad-
mire»it to please the foolish parent. Every dispute must be referred
to the pet chicken of the little brood. At table the best seat, the
most attention, the daintiest plateful, the ripest peach or pear. The
other children are silent that the pet manikin or miss may talk. This
is the privileged little egotist who may contradict papa and tell
mamma that he knows better than she does. If a servant waits upon
this pigmy lord in his own conceit, the man ol- maid is treated with
disdain and insolence. His will is supreme in the nursery and the
kitchen. If he is thwarted or not instantly obeyed, the domestic is
rebuked or discharged by the fond mother, who wonders how any
one can refuse anything to so precocious a child.
The little brothers and sisters see all this and submit to it, but they
are quite conscious of the injustice that prevails, and while some of
LIFE AT HOME. 22/
them may be of that self-abnegating character that they easily con-
vince themselves that there must be some superiority of worth and
power in the one so idolized, the greater number of children feel a
just resentment and adopt the policy of looking out for their own
interests. This feeling, that unless they " grab " for their share they
will be left out and thrust aside, becomes implanted by degrees in an
unselfish nature and works a great deterioration in the character.
The care for one's self soon becomes disregard of others. The gen-
erous bosom becomes selfish by constant contact with selfishness.
If the character were fully formed it might not be so. Noble men
and women can associate with the mean and churlish without-becom-
ing like them. But in the unformed mental and moral habits of the
child, to daily witness and be the victim of injustice and selfishness,
begets a spirit of retaliation and self-regard which would not other-
wise exist.
Page 145
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
never righted ; it is never obliterated. For one instance in which to spare the rod is to spoil the child, there are a thousand cases in which to use the rod unjustly is to engrave an eternal stigma on the heart and to write a "minute" in the note-book of the memory which may be legible beyond the grave.
Scarcely less hurtful to the child's nature and to the home life is petting and spoiling. Better, perhaps, is it for the boy or girl to suffer from neglect than pampering. Better to be punished and blamed unjustly than to be praised and rewarded for virtues one does not possess and good deeds one has not done. Both treatments are alike unjust, and what is needed in the home is justice.
Many children who are naturally generous and would willingly "share and share alike " the little windfalls of good things that come to them, are made selfish and greedy by the eagerness which is created in them by a parent's unfairness. They see every dainty, every treat, the first choice in every selection of presents and the tidbits of every delicacy, given to the mother's or the father's darling, made so, perhaps, because this child has a prettier complexion, a fairer skin, more curly hair and bolder manners than the others. The favorite has more pocket-money given him or her to spend; has greater care and cost bestowed upon dress ; is made more of before company who admire it to please the foolish parent. Every dispute must be referred to the pet chicken of the little brood. At table the best seat, the most attention, the daintiest plateful, the ripest peach or pear. The other children are silent that the pet manikin or miss may talk. This is the privileged little egotist who may contradict papa and tell mamma that he knows better than she does. If a servant waits upon this pigmy lord in his own conceit, the man or maid is treated with disdain and insolence. His will is supreme in the nursery and the kitchen. If he is thwarted or not instantly obeyed, the domestic is rebuked or discharged by the fond mother, who wonders how any one can refuse anything to so precocious a child.
The little brothers and sisters see all this and submit to it, but they are quite conscious of the injustice that prevails, and while some of
LIFE AT HOME. 22/
them may be of that self-abnegating character that they easily convince themselves that there must be some superiority of worth and power in the one so idolized, the greater number of children feel a just resentment and adopt the policy of looking out for their own interests. This feeling, that unless they " grab " for their share they will be left out and thrust aside, becomes implanted by degrees in an unselfish nature and works a great deterioration in the character. The care for one's self soon becomes disregard of others. The generous bosom becomes selfish by constant contact with selfishness. If the character were fully formed it might not be so. Noble men and women can associate with the mean and churlish without becoming like them. But in the unformed mental and moral habits of the child, to daily witness and be the victim of injustice and selfishness, begets a spirit of retaliation and self-regard which would not otherwise exist.