" The way the Cincinnati smoked hams vanished would have par-
alyzed me if I had not more than I could do in counting the new-
laid eggs which disappeared as quickly as they were brought into
the house. Bread, butter, cheese, pickles, fruit, pie, and spring
chickens vanished in the same mysterious manner. My suspicions
were at length aroused, and I questioned Lucinda Waffles, but could
get no satisfaction. She disputed my remark that things couldn't
walk off without legs. Hams shrunk in the cooking, eggs were
very scarce, cold roast beef was very deceptive owing to the quan-
tity of bone in it, and so forth. ' Lucinda,' I answered, *you arc de-
ceiving me. The butcher's bill is just double since you came. I
feed you liberally, but I will have no more waste.' . But matters
went on as before, and I then noticed that little Barbara, my maid,
seemed in great fear of Waffles, the cook, and trembled whenever
she saw her witli the rolling-pin in her hand. One day I questioned
Barbara closely. ' Please, m'm, don't ask me nothing, m'm, for its
more'n my life's worth to tell. Waffles has sworn to kill me with
78 THE hearthstone; or, life at home.
the rolling-pin if I tell on her.' With much difficulty I persuaded
the girl to reveal all she knew. The brother from India was always
let in at the back door when every member of the family had gone
out at the front. Lucinda sat on his knee and cooked ham and
eggs for him in quantities that proved he got no meals anywhere
else. I discharged the creature at once without mentioning poor
Barbara, who was frightened out of her wits. The brother from
India called for Waffles' baggage."
Such are the conversations that may be heard in thousands of
homes from mistresses who can't get servants and whose cry is
"Help!"
This, however, is only one side of the domestic picture. The
servants often have grievances as well as the mistresses. If too
little is expected of them in one way, too much is demanded in an-
other. If one rein is too loose, another is too tight. They are
allowed to take liberties at one time only to be severely checked at
another. The mistress will often demean herself by talking scandal
about her neighbors with her own servant and then complain that
the servant does the same by her. The relative positions of mistress
and servant, employer and employe, requires that the one should set
a proper example to the other. But how can the servant be ex-
pected to govern her temper when the mistress has no control of
her own?
It may be said that in a republican country like our own, where
everybody is everybody's equal and a good deal superior to every-
body in his own esteem, it is impossible to observe class distinc-
tions and treat those whom we employ as they are treated in the old
countries, where the social scale is graduated from the monarch to
the mendicant. "Our servant would not stay with us unless she
were treated as one of ourselves," is a remark which one frequently
hears in all sections of the country, and it has a right side and a
wrong side. The right side is that you must remember that your
servant has a proper self-respect and dignity of feeling as well as
yourself Her heart, indeed, may be warmer and less selfish than
" UP-STAIRS, DOWN-STAIRS, IN MV LADY S CHAMBER." 79
Page 45
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
" The way the Cincinnati smoked hams vanished would have paralyzed me if I had not more than I could do in counting the newlaid eggs which disappeared as quickly as they were brought into the house. Bread, butter, cheese, pickles, fruit, pie, and spring chickens vanished in the same mysterious manner. My suspicions were at length aroused, and I questioned Lucinda Waffles, but could get no satisfaction. She disputed my remark that things couldn't walk off without legs. Hams shrunk in the cooking, eggs were very scarce, cold roast beef was very deceptive owing to the quantity of bone in it, and so forth. ' Lucinda,' I answered, *you arc deceiving me. The butcher's bill is just double since you came. I feed you liberally, but I will have no more waste.' . But matters went on as before, and I then noticed that little Barbara, my maid, seemed in great fear of Waffles, the cook, and trembled whenever she saw her with the rolling-pin in her hand. One day I questioned Barbara closely. ' Please, m'm, don't ask me nothing, m'm, for its more'n my life's worth to tell. Waffles has sworn to kill me with
78 THE hearthstone; or, life at home.
the rolling-pin if I tell on her.' With much difficulty I persuaded the girl to reveal all she knew. The brother from India was always let in at the back door when every member of the family had gone out at the front. Lucinda sat on his knee and cooked ham and eggs for him in quantities that proved he got no meals anywhere else. I discharged the creature at once without mentioning poor Barbara, who was frightened out of her wits. The brother from India called for Waffles' baggage."
Such are the conversations that may be heard in thousands of homes from mistresses who can't get servants and whose cry is "Help!"
This, however, is only one side of the domestic picture. The servants often have grievances as well as the mistresses. If too little is expected of them in one way, too much is demanded in another. If one rein is too loose, another is too tight. They are allowed to take liberties at one time only to be severely checked at another. The mistress will often demean herself by talking scandal about her neighbors with her own servant and then complain that the servant does the same by her. The relative positions of mistress and servant, employer and employe, requires that the one should set a proper example to the other. But how can the servant be expected to govern her temper when the mistress has no control of her own?
It may be said that in a republican country like our own, where everybody is everybody's equal and a good deal superior to everybody in his own esteem, it is impossible to observe class distinctions and treat those whom we employ as they are treated in the old countries, where the social scale is graduated from the monarch to the mendicant. "Our servant would not stay with us unless she were treated as one of ourselves," is a remark which one frequently hears in all sections of the country, and it has a right side and a wrong side. The right side is that you must remember that your servant has a proper self-respect and dignity of feeling as well as yourself Her heart, indeed, may be warmer and less selfish than
" UP-STAIRS, DOWN-STAIRS, IN MV LADY S CHAMBER." 79